Harrison Farm

for now, the only thing we're growing on this farm is kids - not the goat variety

Category: Funny (page 1 of 2)

Moody Noriega

I have a little ball that I’ve named Moody Noriega.  Let me tell you how it got it’s name.

But first, do you know what a palindrome is? It is a word or a sentence or a paragraph or any type of text that is read the same both backward and forward when not including any punctuation or capitals or spaces, for example, “race-car” or “Stanley Yelnats” or “Aha!”.

I created a program on Khan Academy which challenged the user to think of a palindrome longer than mine, that I had come up with myself: “No stop! A pot’s on!”

One of the users put down in the comments a palindrome longer than mine: “‘Are we not pure?’ ‘No sir!’ Panama’s moody Noriega brags, ‘It is garbage! Irony dooms a man, a prisoner up to new era.'”

Then Carman and I came up with a game. We collect the left-over pipes from our stretch wrap and aluminum foil, and we set them up on their ends, and we take turns throwing at them, and whoever had knocked the most pipes over wins that round.

But we normally set at least two pipes on top of the “Panama Jack” box, that we ended up calling the “Panama Noriega” box.

And we ended up calling both the game and the ball that we throw to knock down the pipes, “Moody Noriega”.

Moody Noriega

Hilarious Blunder by Google Translate

Google Translate is great. We use it all the time. Sometimes it will translate a sentence incorrectly, but it does it less than any other translator we’ve ever used. However, it almost never gets single words wrong. Only slang and such things does it occasionally misinterpret. But this below is not slang. Continue reading

Mayo & Ketchup

Yesterday we went swimming at some friend’s house (they’re also gringos). I sat down by their three year-old and asked him if they had celebrated thanksgiving. Continue reading

Rosebud said 5.0

Rosebud changes her best friend a lot. One day it’s Sudoku, next day it’s Doodle, and today, it’s me. I stole “doria”, her doll, and told her I would only give it back if she would be my best friend (talk about extortion!). She agreed to the deal, and so far she hasn’t broken it. Continue reading

Comical Illustrator Signs

Recently did some Illustrator work, made all of these from scratch.

Continue reading

I’m Dehind You!

We have a new writer folks!  Meet Doodle.  Take it away, Doodle.

I have these weird socks that have words on them. I mean, doesn’t that sound a little funny?

Firstly, go through a store and try to find some socks that fit nine year old Doodle that have words on them.

Secondly, these socks say, “I’m behind you”. How much sense does that make?

Thirdly, these socks actually don’t say, “I’m behind you”. They say, “I’m dehind you”.

Milkmaid told me this poem that goes like this, “‘I’ before ‘E’ except after ‘C’ or when sounds like ‘A’ as in neighbor and weigh”. I had a hard time spelling “weird” because of the poem, but now I’v corrected it. “I” before “E” except after “C” or when sounds like “A” as in neighbor and weigh – also in the word weird (the fourth letter of this post) because it’s weird.

Worst Translation Ever

We’ve seen some pretty bad translations of Spanish into English on Chilean web sites, pamphlets, manuals, etc. This one is the worst we have ever seen.

We recently burned out one of our bathroom fans, and I went to a hardware store and bought a new one. On the manual, there was the usual long list of ridiculous safety precautions, with a list in English. Here is an exact copy of one of the safety recommendations:

“The appliance can not be used by children, the deformed man, the disease patient the people who is short of experience and culture or the sense organ or the spirit alone”

Amazingly there are no misspellings. But trying to bring it across in professional manner? Um….

—-Okay folks! We have the great advantage of being able to get advice DIRECTLY FROM THE MANUFACTURER! Amazing! They graciously went to the length of having it printed in English just for the occasional Gringo who would buy their fan! So, let’s see what we can take away from this invaluable information.

It looks like Doodle, Rosebud, Sudoku and I can’t turn the fan on, because obviously everyone under 18 is a “child” too. So, only Milkmaid and Marathon can turn the fan on and off. Marathon is clearly the “deformed man” they are talking about, because one of his legs is 1/32″ longer than the other one. So this leaves Milkmaid as the only one who can turn the fan on and off.  People who is short of experience and culture can’t use it either. Obviously we are short of that, but we’re never going to admit it. The sense organ isn’t allowed to use it, but I’m not even sure what that is. I don’t think that there are any spirits capable of flipping a switch just by themselves, so I think that was unnecessary to mention.—-

Usually you can at least get the gist of what they are saying, but this is way off the chart.

Here is a picture to prove it. You can see other mistakes too.

Rosebud said 2.0

Today I was doing some php coding and Dad came over to help me because I had a problem. Rosebud was sitting at the opposite side of the table doing math.

She looked up and said “Daddy, I am getting really good at plus! Ask me on 35 + 5.”

Dad: “Okay, what’s 35 + 5?”

She immediately said “Forty!!”

Dad: “Good job! Do you want another problem?”

Rosebud: “Sure.”

Dad: “17 + 12”

Rosebud (searching her math page for that problem): “hm, I’m not sure…”

She is improving rapidly with her math, but she hasn’t mastered the two digit addition yet. She just turned 6, and she had a party with some of her friends from our condominium at a nearby park.

Bad Translation

Since one of us needs to eat gluten-free, I was so glad to see that my local supermercado carries a few different types of rice pasta. Most packaged food here has cooking instructions only on Spanish. These Asian brand noodles also had English instructions, though they’re a bit confusing…

Have You Met Ronald Jenkees?

The original, the authentic, the makin’-it-fun, the owner of many hats, talented Ronald Jenkees was discovered by Marathon when he went to YouTube looking for some pump-you-up Rocky music. He found Jenkees’ fun version and explored some of his other videos.

In an interview, I heard Jenkees say he had just a couple of months of piano lessons as a child, but the teacher gave up on him because he “just wanted to jam, and she wasn’t going to have it.” Well, he’s still jammin’ away, having a big time, selling his cds, and I hope, laughing all the way to the bank.

I don’t normally like this type of music. This highly electronic, hip-hop-ish music is not in our normal repertoire, but something about Jenkees’ style drew us in. Marathon speculates that Bach may have been the same way when he was alone at the organ. Can you see him just jammin’ away? …I can’t either. But when I think about the Organ Fugue…well, Marathon might be right.

Everyone in the family had an opinion on which of Jenkees’ songs we should feature here. “Stay Crunchy” shows his piano skills; “STS9 Collab” is fun, has a great beat, etc, but it’s long for an intro piece; the “Rocky Remix” doesn’t show enough of his musical skills…So we decided on this one. Basically, if you like this one, there’s a lot more to be discovered. See what you think and take my poll below. It’s just fun to watch this guy.

« Older posts

© 2021 Harrison Farm

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑